Page 21 of Losing Ansley

“Yeah. It was because of Lincoln.” I pause. “I mean, I wanted this job but needed space from Lincoln.” They stare at me, waiting for an explanation, but I’m not sure I’m ready to give it. After several beats of my heart, I finally blurt it out.

“I slept with Lincoln!” Their mouths pop open.

“What?!?”

“Oh my god!” They both speak at the same time. I run my hands through my hair and glance up at the ceiling.

“How did that happen? When did it happen?” Liv asks.

“How many times did it happen?” Caroline adds on, and we all laugh.

“You both know I’ve known Lincoln since I was born. I have had a crush on him since I was little. I don’t know. The night you two went to the Mexican restaurant, and I stayed late was the first time.” I admit.

“What?!?” Caroline exclaims again, stands up to pace, then stares at me. “I knew it! I knew you two had a weird relationship. He didn’t want you on a dating app because he wants you.” I chuckle, and she glares at me. I put my hands up, well, hand, I’m not compromising my wine.

“You said that was the first time? So there was more?” Liv asks, and I look between her and Caroline guiltily.

“Yes. A few more times, actually. He was at the bar when I was on my date; that’s why I told you two you could leave.” I admit. Caroline turns her head to Liv, and Liv raises her eyebrows.

“I told you I thought I saw him,” Liv says.

“What?” I ask, and Liv turns back toward me.

“I returned to the restaurant because I left my cardigan, and I swore I saw him walking down the hall toward the bathroom,” She explains. I smirk and nod. That day will live rent-free in my head for the rest of my life and will be my go-to fantasy for all future appointments with my vibrator. Caroline plops down next to me.

“Did you two do it in the bathroom?” She asks, sounding scandalized.

“No, we didn’t have sex. However, we did do other things. Don’t look at me like that! You got it on in the gym’s locker room that your boyfriend owns.” I tell her, and she looks away sheepishly. Liv laughs.

“This is great!” Liv exclaims, and I glance at her and take a deep breath.

“It’s not. Although we’ve done all these things, he refuses to kiss me on my mouth.”

Liv frowns, and Caroline scoots closer to me.

“Why not?” They ask at the same time. I groan.

“He and my brother made promises to each other they would protect each other’s sister, and they wouldn’t kiss each other’s sister,” I tell them, wincing. I’ve never talked to anyone about what happened that day on the lake, not even Dylan.

“Wait! Lincoln has a sister?” Liv asks.

“He had a sister. She died when we were five.” I answer. Caroline’s hands come up to her mouth as she gasps.

“What happened?” She whispers. Anxiety crawls up my spine, and my heart beats heavily in my chest. I look away. I’m not ready to talk about that yet. Liv places her hand on mine.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to talk about it.” She assures me, and Caroline is quick to nod in agreement.

“I will eventually. I know I’ve encouraged both of you to see a therapist when you were ready, but I’m not. Maybe one day.” I stop talking and close my eyes. Caroline wraps her arm around my shoulders and hugs me.

“I told you before that sometimes you have to reach a tipping point. Maybe what happened with Lincoln and moving is yours.”

Maybe she’s right. I need to move on. I’m sick of having this cloud over me all the time. I want to move on from Ivy’s death, how my parents treated me growing up, my animosity toward Dylan, and my feelings for Lincoln.

CHAPTER EIGHT

LINCOLN

I FUCKEDup. I haven’t seen or talked to Ansley in three weeks, and I am going fucking insane. It’s like an itch; I can’t scratch, and I can’t take it anymore. I’ve tried to call her, only for her to send my calls to voice mail. I’ve tried to text her, only for them to go unanswered. So, I call Dylan for the thousandth time.

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