Page 103 of Skin Deep

She squealed with joy and put her arms around my neck in a tight squeeze. I froze, unsure of how to react to being hugged. While I was still trying to decide, she pulled back and spun away, running back toward the house, shouting in a sing-song voice, “River owes me five dollars!”

“You made her entire week,” Pax said with a chuckle. He shifted Charlie on his hip and pulled me in for a quick kiss, his hand lingering on the back of my head.

“I hope I made a lot more than that for her today,” I said.

“I take it everything went to plan?”

I nodded. “It’s done.” I didn’t even think twice about taking Charlie when she reached for me. She had a little bit of something on her face that I quickly wiped away with my sleeve.

“I think you might be their new favorite.” Paxton put an arm around my lower back and we walked together back toward the house. “You ready for all that?”

I smiled as we came onto the porch where I could hear Scarlet and River arguing inside. The smell of a freshly baked pumpkin pie wafted out through the open front door, along with the familiar scents of garlic and paprika. If I listened closely, I could hear the vague sounds of whatever video game Xander and Xavier were playing upstairs. Tatty’s laughter floated out of the kitchen behind the clink of a glass and the familiar low tones of Annie, Yuri, and Nikita having a conversation.

This was what I’d wanted all along, what I’d been missing. It was a particular kind of noisy, familiar chaos and disorder that could only be described as one thing: family.

“Yeah,” I said, my throat tight. “After what we’ve been through, I think I’m ready for anything.”

Footsteps approached from inside the house and Nikita’s broad shoulders darkened the doorway. He held a glass full of amber liquid in his hand, appraising me in silence. I half expected him to say nothing when he saw it was me, to turn around and walk away. Instead, he glanced at Pax, who immediately reached for Charlie. She whined as Pax lifted her away from me.

“We’ll be inside watching cartoons,” Pax promised and kissed me on the cheek. “Don’t keep us waiting too long, okay?”

“I won’t,” I promised, and they disappeared inside.

Nikita paced onto the porch, leaning against the railing and looking out at the trees beyond. I waited for him to open the same way he normally did, with some memory of the good old days when I was younger and hadn’t yet learned how much he could hurt me by doing nothing.

He lifted his cup and took a sip before saying, “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, Warrick. I don’t deserve to be where I am after the things I’ve done. To you, to others. I’m not a good man, and I’m an even worse father. I’ve unfairly asked a lot of you.” He balanced the glass on the porch railing and looked at me. “You deserve better than the hand you were dealt, but I can’t change that. I can’t change where we are, what I’ve done to get there, or who I am.”

“I never wanted you to change. I just wanted an explanation.” I sighed and crossed my arms, sitting on the railing next to a post. “But I wouldn’t have accepted it if you’d offered it. The truth is, we’ve both been terrible at this father/son thing. Maybe it’s because we’re terrible people.”

“I don’t believe that,” he said, turning away and looking up into the leaves dancing in the wind. “I’ve seen how you are with those girls, and with Paxton. You’re a good man, Warrick. Well, as good as one can be in this life. A better man than I will ever be. A happier man. That’s what I wanted for you, and you’ve achieved it not because of me, but despite me. I’m proud of you and who you’ve grown up to be, even if I had no part in it. That’s all I wanted to say.” He drained his glass and turned to go back inside.

It wasn’t an apology, but it was as close as I was ever going to get with Nikita. He’d extended the olive branch. I could meet him halfway. That’s what a good son would do. I’d never been a good son before, but there was no time like the present to try it out.

I closed my eyes and sighed before calling out, “Wait.”

He paused near the door, listening expectantly.

“About that baseball game,” I said, rubbing the back of my head. “I’m not into sports, but I know Paxton likes baseball. Maybe the girls will have fun. Maybe… Maybe we could all go one day.”

Nikita nodded slowly. “I’d like that.”

A baseball game wasn’t going to fix the rift between us. Hell, I’d probably be miserable the whole damn time, but that was part of being in a family, wasn’t it? Suffering in exchange for everyone else’s happiness. The one thing I’d learned from being with Paxton was that I should be happy, too. I’d spent so much of my life being who I thought everyone else wanted me to be that I’d almost lost myself. There was a balance somewhere between self-sacrifice and the pursuit of happiness. Maybe I hadn’t found it yet, but I’d get there eventually.

“You little shit!” Xavier shouted, and a second later, both Xander and Xavier came barreling down the stairs, chasing after each other.

Xavier caught Xander and they fell to the floor in the hallway, just in front of the door. They wrestled for a bit before Xavier eventually pulled off a headlock while Xander made exaggerated gagging sounds.

“Would you two quit it?” River growled from the living room door. “Theo’s trying to take a nap!”

“My arm!” Xander complained and reached for me. “Help me, War! Save me! He’s a monster!”

I sighed and rolled my eyes as I went inside to break up another fight. “What would the rest of you do without me?”

3 Months Later…

“Happybirthdaytoyou!”Annie set the bright pink birthday cake with two candles down in front of Charlie. “Make a wish, sweetie, and blow out the candles!”

Charlie pursed her brand-new lips. With the bandages in place, she couldn’t quite get enough air to blow, so Scarlett leaned in to help her. War winced as spittle flew all over the icing, but he clapped just the same. When Charlie beamed up at him, he smiled back and patted her shoulder.

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