Page 28 of Camden

It helped.

She didn’t want me to hold myself back from the possibility of a healthy relationship because of my past. Which I agreed with, though I wanted to run from it at the same time. She sat and listened when I told her my fear. When I explained I didn’t trust my instincts, she assured me it was a normal fear, one I would eventually need to overcome. She suggested I talk to him. That I needed to be honest and open about my feelings. If Cam was truly the man I thought he was, he would be fine with me setting the pace of our relationship. If he really wanted a shot with me, he would go slow.

My mom always used to tell me that when push came to shove, a boy would leave, but a man would wait. I hoped Cam would be that man.

“What’s this look for?” Rylie waved her hand in a circle toward my face. I laughed and smacked it away.

“Nothing.”

“That wasn’t nothing. We lost you for a minute there. Where did you go?” She bit into a chip.

“She probably got sucked into Camland,” Haley said, sipping on her margarita.

Rylie sputtered with laughter. “Cam what?”

“Camland. You’ve missed so much while you’ve been gone. Seems Cam has a thing for our girl.”

Rylie’s eyes lit up. “I love that.”

“I knew you would.” Haley smirked.

“How do we know Cam has a thing for her?” Rylie asked, fidgeting in her seat, excited about the idea.

“He asked her out at your wedding and then he jumped on a ferris wheel with her and got stuck at the top for almost an hour. Asked her out again at the end of the night. Rylie, you should have seen him look at her. He’s gone for her.”

I interjected. My neck and chest heated. “What do you mean? How was he looking at me?”

“Come on, you had to have noticed it.” Haley gave me a skeptical look.

“It’s the same way he’s always looked at me,” I said. Nothing had changed except he’d been more flirty. More forward. Like the Cam I’d always known but on steroids.

Haley rolled her eyes. “Maybe to your face, but when you weren’t looking, I swear the man never took his eyes off of you. He’s in awe of you. Admired you. He looked at you like…” She stopped searching for the right way to explain it.

“Like Mas looks at me,” Rylie whispered a soft smile playing on her lips. Her eyes glistened.

Haley snapped and pointed at her before turning to me. “Exactly. Just like that. It was so freaking cute.

“Gah. I knew he had a thing for you,” Rylie said.

I grabbed my margarita off of the table, stirring it with the straw. “How’d you know that?”

“I just did. It doesn’t matter. What matters is whether you are feeling the same,” she said, and both of them stared at me intently.

I chewed on my nail before dropping the hand not holding my drink and rubbing my leg. “I don’t know. What if I give him a chance and he turns out to be exactly like the others? They were charming too.”

“Stephanie,” Rylie sighed sadly like she knew I was talking myself out of it already strictly because of my fears.

“I’m serious.”

She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “Cam isn’t anything like them. He may be full of muscle and he might’ve had his fair share of flings, but he wouldn’t hurt you. Not physically.”

“What about emotionally?” I chewed on the inside of my cheek. My eyes were glued to the floor.

“I don’t think he’d hurt you like that, either. At least not intentionally. If Cam says he wants to date you, he means it. He’s thought about it. He doesn’t do relationships, so the fact that he’s willing to give it a try means he’s all in,” Rylie said, gently. Her voice filled with empathy.

“I don’t know if I can handle another heartbreak,” I sighed, feeling a little defeated. It was the same argument I’d fought myself on repeatedly. “It wasn’t just physical abuse with Jax. He broke me. Completely. He made me feel like I was worthless. Like I wasn’t enough. Every single day, he told me what a disappointment I was. That I should be thankful he was with me because no one else would love me. Every day, he broke my heart. My soul. Everything. What if I agree to go out with Cam and he steals my heart and then breaks it? What then? What if I’m not enough for him? He deserves more than someone who constantly worries about that.”More than someone who constantly questioned him.

Haley took my cup and grabbed my other hand, eyes glistening. She looked heartbroken for me. I hated the pity. Hated it. “Oh, Stephanie. Why didn’t you ever tell us?”

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