Page 46 of Bite the Bullet

“Goddamnit!” I shouted, yanking the last drawer out and tossing it against the wall. I gripped my hair, pulling it hard as tears pricked my eyes. I couldn’t keep up with this, seeing my sister’s face as she pleaded for me to save her. My world was crumbling around me and I just wanted it all to disappear.

I slowly sank to the floor, tears pricking my eyes as I kept hearing her voice over and over again in my head. Squeezing my eyes shut, I rocked back and forth, counting down from one hundred, trying to regain some control. I was losing it. This job was tearing me apart even though it had nothing to do with my sister. But the moment I took that heroin, I started reliving her death, and the only way to erase it from my memory was to take another hit.

I shoved to my feet, snatching the cigarettes off my dresser. I wouldn’t give in to the cravings. I wouldn’t destroy the life I had builtfor myself. Continuing to fight the hard battles was the only way to honor her memory.

I yanked the front door open and stepped out into the early morning light. The hiss of the lighter immediately calmed my nerves, but the nicotine I sucked into my lungs was what finally took the edge off. I closed my eyes, sucking down the black tar as if it would dull my senses like the heroin.

I pulled out a second cigarette after finishing the first, putting it out on the stoop. Feeling a little calmer, I sat down and slowly took a drag. The neighborhood was quiet again this morning, aside from the little kid laughing next door. I ignored him, not ready to hear that kind of joy when I was feeling so shitty.

A rusted gray car turned down the street, stopping right in front of Skylar’s house. The man waiting inside looked just as shady as I felt at the moment. Whatever he was waiting for, he wasn’t getting it. I didn’t think twice as my legs ate up the grass to his car. Slamming my fist against his window, he jerked, staring at me like I was a serial killer.

I motioned for him to roll down the window. Reluctantly, he did as I asked, but stopped short of leaving enough space for me to reach my fist through. Not that a window would stop me.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Uber,” he stuttered. “I’m an Uber driver.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? In this piece of shit?”

“I…” His eyes flicked to Skylar’s house, then back to me. “I’m just here to do a job.”

“Let me see your license.”

“What?”

“You fucking heard me,” I growled.

“Fuck you, man.”

I bent over, getting as close as I could. “You don’t ever come back here. Do you understand?”

“I was just taking a job!”

“Not here. Get the fuck out of here before I pull you out of this car and beat the shit out of you.”

His eyes went wide and he shifted into drive, tearing off down thestreet. I stepped back from the curb, turning to see Skylar glaring at me.

“That was my ride. What did you do?”

“I got rid of him.” I walked back to my property, ignoring the look of shock on her face.

“But I need a ride to work! Why would you do that?”

I spun, glaring at her. “Why the fuck would you take a ride from a stranger?”

“Because my car isn’t fixed! I have to get to work!”

“Not from him,” I snarled. “I’ll get my keys.”

Her mouth dropped open, but I didn’t give her a chance to argue further. It was my fault her ride was gone, and the only way to make it right was to take her and her kid into town. I grabbed my pants, pulled them on over my boxers, then slid my feet into my shoes. I couldn’t blame her for looking at me like a psycho. I was outside in my underwear yelling at a man.

When I stomped out of the house, her son was by her side, watching me in that way kids do when they don’t trust an adult. I was doing a bang-up job of protecting her the way I promised that cop I would. I was about to ask her to get her car seat when I remembered it was still in my truck. I opened the back door and turned to the woman, raising my eyebrow at her.

Between my bad mood and running off the Uber driver, I was really making her question the type of man I was. Sighing, I tried to go another route. “Will you please get in the truck? I’ll make sure you’re to work on time.”

The questions swirling in her eyes made me feel like shit. I had to get better at this neighbor thing, if only so I could keep an eye on her without her flipping out on me. In the end, she didn’t have much of a choice but to go with me.

After she got her son buckled, we took off toward the preschool. The tension rolling off her came in strong waves. I was really fucking this up. I didn’t need the complication of a neighborly relationship with this woman, but I swore to that cop I would keep her safe. In order to do that, I needed her to trust me.

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