Page 138 of Bite the Bullet

“Really? That’s pretty cool.”

“You never let me cook,” he pouted.

That was because I didn’t have the tolerance that Jack apparently had. I liked to be able to make meals quickly and keep the cleanup to a minimum. Right now, the kitchen was a mess, one that I knew would be a hassle to clean. But I ignored that in favor of sitting down to the plate Jack shoved in front of my seat.

“This looks great.”

Jack and I ate in silence as Parker regaled us with stories of his first day at school. At times, Jack was listening intently, eating up every word Parker said. But there were other times when I caught him lost in thought, pushing his tacos around his plate, but not eating a thing.

“Hey, buddy. You need a bath tonight.”

“But—”

I gave him one stern look and he instantly shut his mouth, pouting as he hopped off his chair. “Fine.”

“Thank you for cooking for us,” I said, turning to Jack.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll clean up the mess.” I was about to argue when he cocked a smile at me. “I know this is going to bother you the whole time you’re up there.”

It surprised me that he realized that, so I took him up on his offer. “Thanks.”

While Parker took his bath, I pulled the laundry out of the dryer and folded it, checking in on him from time to time. He was busy playing and I had to remind him more than once to wash his hair. This was something he was just getting the hang of, and I usually had to go in and wash his hair again. But it gave me the chance to get other things done.

By the time everything was put away, I was ready to put up my feet and enjoy a glass of wine. I dried Parker off and sent him off to his room to get ready for bed. I still had an hour until he went to sleep since we didn’t get up as early in the morning. It was a new routine I was going to have to get used to. I hated to admit that I let him stay up a lot later while we spent the summer with my parents. The adjustment period was going to be hard.

I really expected Jack to be long gone by the time we got downstairs, and honestly, it probably would have been easier. I didn’t know what to make of this new version of Jack. He was wiping down the counters and all the dishes were washed and put away.

I took a moment to watch him lost in thought. Even though he didn’t look strung out like before, there was still a darkness lurking in his eyes, and I wasn’t sure he would ever really move past that.

“Hey,” I smiled, sitting awkwardly at my own counter. “You didn’t have to do all that.”

“Well, I made the mess.”

“Jack, will you read me a book?” Parker rushed over with one of his favorites. It was a National Geographic book about the solar system. He could read most of it on his own, but he was attached to Jack now, and that was something that made me nervous given his vanishing act a few days ago.

“Yeah, I can read to you.”

They sat down on the couch while I poured myself a glass of wine. I was stalling. Nerves had firmly settled in my stomach, making it impossible to relax. I hated not knowing where I stood with him. But more than that, I hated not really knowing who he was. I didn’t know how to talk to him about it. What was I supposed to say?

Hey, you’re really good with my son. When did that happen?

I see you’re not using drugs anymore. How’s that going?

Or better yet…

So, now that you’re not pretending to be a killer, what are your plans for the future?

And what was he doing here, hanging out with me? It wasn’t that I didn’t want him here, but…he was here. In my house, at the school, making me dinner…He was just here.

What about work? Was he planning on going back? And if he did, would he do undercover work like he had before? And how did Parker fit into this? He just spent the whole night with him, paying attention to him the way a father would. And as nice as it was for Parker to experience that, I didn’t want it for him if Jack wasn’t up to the task. He couldn’t just appear and disappear from his life when things got hard.

I downed the last of my glass, surprised when I looked at the clock and saw that twenty minutes had passed where I drank wine and drove myself insane thinking about Jack and everything that worried me. That’s when I realized it was silent in the living room.

Setting my glass down, I tiptoed over, watching as Jack gazed out the window, his finger rubbing over his top lip in thought. Parker wasalready asleep on his lap, curled up against him like he would with me. The sight nearly melted my heart.

“I can take him,” I whispered, walking around the couch.

“Hmm?” Jack turned to me, his face pinched in confusion.

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