Page 111 of Bite the Bullet

I wiped the sweat from my forehead, praying I could hang on just a little bit longer. The hit hadn’t been nearly enough to stave off mycravings, but I knew I could make it through this.

Johnny motioned for me to head down the hallway that led to room 418. I felt naked without my weapon, but trusted Johnny would take care of me. Pressing my body to the wall, I moved quickly down the hallway, keeping my steps light as I passed each of the doors. I stopped just shy of the door to the apartment, turning back to check in with Johnny. When he gave me the all clear, I checked in one last time.

“We’re…” I had to stop and take a deep breath. Spots danced in front of my eyes, clouding my vision as a wave of nausea washed over me. This wasn’t like before, not when I was coming down from the drugs. This was?—

I crumpled over in agony as excruciating pain radiated through my head. I bit back a scream, digging my fingers into my scalp to alleviate the needle-like sensation piercing my scalp. My heart kicked into overdrive with every second that passed until I felt like it would burst from my chest.

I felt Johnny’s hands on me, trying to get me to calm down, but the pain was so intense that I couldn’t even hear him over the pounding of my head. I hit the ground, rolling to my side as vomit rose in my throat. Bile flooded my mouth as I gagged and spit, and then suddenly, the pain receded and I was left a shaking mess on the floor.

Taking deep breaths, I struggled to lay there without shaking. Every ounce of energy was used to keep from screaming in pain, leaving me feeling wrung out. When I finally opened my eyes, Johnny was kneeling beside me, along with Jason and Pete. The terror on their faces said it must have been bad, but now wasn’t the time to focus on what the fuck just happened.

Johnny held out his hand, grabbing mine and hauling me up. Dizziness spiked with the motion and I would have fallen over if it weren’t for him grabbing me and pulling me against him. I sat there shaking for several minutes, just trying to get my body under control.

“You good?” Johnny asked, his hand tightening on my back.

I nodded, my breathing still shaking, but better than it had been. “Did I…” I shook off a tremor, trying to focus my thoughts. “Did I alert them?”

“They’re not here,” Peter answered. “We already checked the room. They’re gone.”

Gone. I failed again.

“Let’s get you out of here,” Johnny said, hauling me up.

He had to prop his shoulder under my arm as we walked down the hall. I was a sweaty mess, barely able to walk on my trembling legs. It took what felt like hours for us to get to the car, and once inside, I collapsed against the seat.

“You’re done,” Johnny ordered. “I know you want to be there, but that was fucked up.”

“Johnny, I have to be there.”

“You need some fucking rest. Your body has been through enough,” he snapped. “I thought your heart was going to stop. I’m not even sure you were still breathing back there.”

“Don’t do this,” I pleaded.

“He’s right,” Jason sighed. “I can’t watch that again. You need to see a doctor.”

“I need to get Parker back,” I demanded. “Everything else can wait.”

“You could fucking die!” Jason snapped. “Haven’t you given enough?”

“Not when there’s a kid out there trapped in this mess,” I argued. “Not when I have to look Sky in the eyes and tell her that I let her down!”

“Look, we can keep tabs on?—”

“Hey!” Pete interrupted, running over to the car. “Our inside guy checked in. The kid is being taken to the shipping yard. There’s cargo being loaded for transport!” he shouted, getting into the car.

Jason and Johnny scrambled to get inside and then we were off, flying down the road to reach the shipping yard. The streetlights passed in a whirl, trailing behind me like streaks of yellow that burst into little balls of fire. I closed my eyes, swallowing the nausea that wouldn’t settle. I pressed my head to the cool glass, fighting off the growing need under my skin. Everything burned, searing my skin as if I were on fire.

“Just breathe,” Jason said, his hand gripping my shoulder, but hisvoice was far away, barely discernible above the waves crashing in my head. I nearly hit the back of the seat when Johnny hit the brakes.

“Stay here!” I heard him shout.

Everyone scrambled out of the vehicle, racing off toward the shipping containers. I wanted to go after them, to chase them down and demand I go with them, but the tilt-a-whirl in my head kept me in place. I was no use to them now. I took in a deep breath and held it for three seconds, then blew it out, repeating the process until it felt like I was gently rocking on a boat instead of crashing into waves during a shipwreck.

My eyes started to play tricks on me, making me see things that weren’t there. Children came running out of the shipyard in every direction, screaming as monsters chased them. I tried to tell myself it wasn’t real. I closed my eyes and forced the images away, but when I opened them, they were all still there, running from the beast with yellow eyes.

And then I saw him. I didn’t know if he was real or a twisted version of a reality in my fucked up head. I fumbled for the door handle, pulling until it flung open and I tumbled out onto the concrete. With my face laying against the ground, I saw his tiny legs and his scared face as he ran from the beast.

“Parker,” I tried to call out for him, but it was nothing more than a whisper. I pushed my arms under my body, forcing myself up. “Get up,” I muttered to myself. “Get over there!”

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