Page 6 of Catfished By the Alien Pirate

“Where are the fighters?”

“Above and below. There might be two more behind us. I would have to check.” I was not sure if the OlyzI had programmed this computer to act like this or if it was something I did trying to modify the ship.

I huffed as I tried to redirect resources that fed to other parts of the ship to raise the shields. The ship spun around and vibrated again. My hands gripped the edge of the dash as the ship careened through space. “Computer, status.”

“You really don’t know how to fly this ship, do you?” the computer asked.

I huffed.

“Kraxon. Where are we?”

“The closest habitable planet for your kind is Earth.”

I paused my controls. “How are we that close to Earth?”

“I don’t know if you can understand the science.”

I rolled my eyes. “How?”

“You ran through an experimental field of space. Remember thatboom-boomfeeling we had? That was us moving through space. You really should pay attention to where you fly.”

The computer described it as aboom-boomfeeling. What was wrong with this computer? “This was the best I could do with half an army after me!!”

“Why didn’t you activate the defense net?”

I closed my eyes as I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I didn’t realize you had one.”

“You really need to read the manual.” I groaned.

“Did we lose them?” I asked.

“Yes. The field has destroyed those ships, but I doubt they are done with you yet.

“You doubt? You’re a computer.”

“Yes, I am a computer. I am the most excellent computer.”

That sentence didn’t even sound right. Was the ship malfunctioning too? “How long will it take for us to get to a space faring planet? Or station?”

“Well, if we avoid any anomalies, five central rotations. But you don’t have five central rotations.”

“What are you not telling me?”

“This ship won’t make it past Earth. Good luck!”

“How will I fix this ship on Earth?”

“I don’t know. That sounds like a personal problem?”

“Am I going to crash land, or can I choose where to go?”

“You should be able to land and we offer cloaking services!”

“Who programmed you?”

“You seem mad. I am not answering that,” the computer replied.

“Can you find the location in this address I’m sending you? Find somewhere nearby where we could land without alerting the humans?” I asked.

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