Page 74 of If You Fight

I shook my head and sighed. “He’s nothing like them. He’s smart and brave, and he protects me, even from Daddy.”

“Good. I worried you and your sister would get caught up in your father’s world and never have the chance to be with someone you truly love. Ryder sounds like he deserves you, and that’s all I’ve ever prayed for.”

She led me into her kitchen, a quaint room painted in pale yellow like her front door and even more welcoming, and we sat down at a tiny table covered in a white tablecloth. As I watched her, I couldn’t shake the thought that she belonged somewhere grander.

“Why did you go?” I blurted out, needing to know the answer to that question more than any other.

Frowning, she said, “I didn’t have a choice. He sent me away, Serena.”

“Why?”

She tilted her chin up and with a look of defiance explained, “I wouldn’t accept his affairs and told him I was leaving and taking you girls with me. That night, two of his men grabbed hold of me as I walked from your room and drove me here. Your father was waiting for me and told me if I wanted to stay alive, I’d accept it. I didn’t want to live for a long time when he sent me away from you girls, but I kept a tiny hope alive that one day I’d be able to see you again.”

“Did you ever try?” I asked, knowing how unfair that question was but still needing to know.

“I asked about you every time I saw him, Serena. Every time, I begged him to let me see you, but by the time you were a teenager, he said you didn’t want to see me ever again because I’d abandoned you. But I didn’t. I swear to you I would have been there every day if he hadn’t exiled me here.”

“He told us you just disappeared one night. I couldn’t understand why you would go,” I said as the emotions from that time long ago came rushing back.

She reached across the table and touched my hand. “I never wanted to go. I missed you and your sister more than you can ever know. I pleaded with your father to let me come back. I promised I wouldn’t take you anywhere. I even told him I’d look the other way concerning the other women, but it didn’t matter. He always said no.”

Choking back tears, I said, “A man kidnapped me when I was seven. When it happened, I actually convinced myself that you were behind it and had finally found a way to get me. I waited the whole time I was at that house for that man to say he was taking me to you.”

Through blurry eyes, I saw my mother begin to cry. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. I should have been there for you. I’m so sorry, Serena.”

“I had no one after that. Daddy took me out of school because I couldn’t stop talking about it. I didn’t know how to deal with everything. I just wanted someone to talk to, but nobody wanted to be friends with me because I just couldn’t stop myself from…”

Pressing my lips together, I refused to let the words that had been in my head for so long come out. I didn’t want to be that person anymore. Friendless. Alone. Poor little Serena.

I wasn’t that person anymore. I wasn’t alone now. I had Ryder.

My mother lightly squeezed my hand, and I saw the sadness in her eyes. I’d seen that same sadness every time I looked in the mirror growing up.

“If only I hadn’t been gone from your life. You deserved so much better, honey. I would have given you that if I could have. I would have, Serena.”

“I know. I know it wasn’t your fault, Mom. I know that now. I do. I guess I’m just crying because I can’t believe that after all these years you’re finally right here in front of me. I’d forgotten what you looked like it’s been so long. I look so much like you.”

She smiled and wiped her tear-stained cheeks. “You’re more beautiful than I’ve ever been.”

“Maybe that’s why Daddy always liked Janelle more. She looks like him.”

“How is your sister? Is she happy? I’m sure your father was more than pleased with himself when he married her off to that Charles person I read about. His millions didn’t hurt either, of course.”

I didn’t know how to answer her questions. I didn’t want to lie, but to say Janelle was happy seemed at the very least not entirely truthful. Then again, her idea of happiness and mine had never been the same.

With a sigh, I said, “She’s happy to be married to someone like Daddy. I don’t think she’s in love with Charles, but that didn’t seem important to anyone at the time.”

My mother furrowed her brow. “I’m happy you escaped that kind of arrangement, Serena. I just worry it’s coming. I know your father.”

“It already came, and he’s gone, so you don’t have to worry. I won’t be letting my father or anyone else push me into another marriage.”

Her eyes opened wide in surprise at my admission that I’d already been married off. “I had no idea. When? I’ve seen your father since Janelle’s wedding, and he never said a thing.”

Looking down at my wrist, I gently rubbed my scar through my sweater as the horrible memory of being forced to marry Oliver replayed in my mind. “It didn’t go exactly how Daddy planned, so he probably didn’t feel it warranted any mention.”

“You said he was gone? What happened to him, or shouldn’t I bother asking, knowing your father?”

I lifted my head and answered her question truthfully. “He died. I wish I could say I was unhappy about that, but I’m not. I never loved him and I begged Daddy to not make me marry him. I guess you can say we both know what good it does to beg him not to do something.”

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