Page 93 of Getting it Right (Addy's Rollercoaster)

You’re seriously trying to end us after today?

You, Addy. I want you.

My legs going out from under me, I imploded. When the dust settled, I realized I was on the floor. Falling, not flying anymore.

But not falling alone this time. Rachel was with me.

“What happened?” she asked, stroking my hair.

“Me,” I said bitterly. “I’m messed up, Rach. I messed it up.”

“You’re a doer and a fixer. I highly doubt that.” She gently removed a strand of my hair that had stuck to my wet face.

“We should have remained friends.” My throat closed on a sob. “Now I don’t even have that.”

“You have me. I’m your friend,” she said. “A sister is a friend you can never get rid of. And somewhere out there in the world, I just know in my heart that you still have Barry.”

I stiffened, and she noticed.

“Is that what happened? Did Barry come up in conversation?” She nodded her head as if answering her own question. “I knew there was always more than friendship between you. The way he held you in the storeroom. The way he looked at you when he thought no one was watching.”

“Rach, don’t.” I couldn’t deal with that right now, process that there had been clues I’d missed that could have helped me make the right choice instead of all the wrong ones.

“Don’t shut me down.” Her brows pulled together. “It’s time you stop running from the good stuff. You spend far too much time dwelling on the bad.”

I gave her a pointed look, and she rolled her eyes.

“I know, I do that myself. How do you think I recognize what you’re doing?” She let out a breath. “I’m trying to focus on what remains. It’s just difficult after Daniel made my life a fairy tale. Claire’s too.”

I took her hand. “Southside’s a hard act to follow after a fairy tale.”

“No joke.” She covered my hand with hers. “But I have you in my life again. God knows I missed you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” she said firmly. “We’re together now. We’re together no matter what from now on.”

“You and me no matter what,” I said.

“Right.” She nodded approvingly. “So, what happened with this guy? Start talking.”

“I can’t, Rach.”

“He got under your skin.”

“Oh yeah,” I said, though he went much deeper than that. Barry made me an addict for his touch. Even in the past, he used to touch me tenderly all the time, until that night in the storeroom. His generous affection was something I’d never had before him.

I’d only had limited tenderness from my dad before he left, from my mom before the drugs. Having a little and then losing it damaged me, but Barry’s friendship had healed me enough that I took a chance on Collin.

But it should have been Barry, not Collin, that I took a chance on. I realized that now.

If only Barry had been a little older back then. If only my mother hadn’t died when she did. If only Rachel hadn’t been underage. If only the record deal hadn’t been withdrawn, then I would have gone with Barry and my sister to LA, even without a safety net.

The heaviness and regret from the past weighing on me, I dropped my head.

Rachel wedged a finger under my chin. “If he’s got eyes that work and half a brain in his head, he’ll come back to you on his hands and knees, begging for a chance to fix whatever he got wrong.”

“He won’t.”

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