Page 22 of Getting it Right (Addy's Rollercoaster)

“Barry came by to see me. He told me before he left town.”

I’d trusted Barry not to tell anyone, but at this point that seemed like a minor betrayal. “He left to go where?”

“You don’t know?” She sounded surprised.

“If I knew, I wouldn’t be asking.”

“Something I know,” she muttered. “But I’m not going to keep it secret from you. He went to Vietnam as a part of a work-study exchange program. He’s not interested in music anymore, and he didn’t want to attend school here after everything that happened. He mentioned there was nothing to keep him stateside anymore. That he needed to do some soul-searching to try to find himself.”

That hurt. A lot.

I felt abandoned. I’d just assumed Barry was still around, but at a safe distance from Martin.

Knowing an ocean separated us, I felt more alone than ever. And really, it was more than an ocean separating us if he was soul-searching and doing that apart from me. Another fractured piece of my heart broke.

“Martin hurt you,” Rachel said, hammering me with her anger, which I deserved. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

“I couldn’t tell you,” I whispered, rubbing the raw wound inside my chest.

“That’s bullshit, Addy. I’m your sister. You should have told me before telling Barry.”

She might be right. But he left after I told him.

Granted, I sent him away, but knowing how fragile I’d been, how could he go so far? Maybe after giving it some consideration, he’d been relieved to be sent away.

“Nothing to say in your defense?” Rachel asked when I remained silent.

“You and I were estranged,” I said, reminding her. “I didn’t support your marriage.”

“That sucked. I’m not going to lie to you. It sucked even worse going to Dad to get him to sign the paperwork. We had to give him money to do it.”

“He’s a sorry bastard.”

“He is, and you’re sorry for putting me in that situation. But worse was all the worry you put me through when I was pregnant.”

My eyes rounded in surprise. Rachel was pregnant when I’d been? No one had told me.

“I didn’t know where to find you,” Rachel said. “I called everyone. The Skellins. Teresa. But no one knew or would tell me where you were. I was so scared for you.”

“Back up,” I said. “You were pregnant?”

“Yes, Addy. Was, but not anymore. You now have a niece.”

A niece. My heart squeezed. Rachel had something I would never have.

“What’s her name?” I whispered. “Is she okay? Are you?”

“I’m fine,” she said firmly. “Though a little sleep-deprived. She has her nights mixed up with her days, but other than that, she’s absolutely perfect.”

I could hear the love in Rachel’s voice. Feel the warmth of her serene mother’s smile. I’d experienced both looking at Ella the one and only time.

“Her name is Claire.”

Claire Walsh.I tried it out in my head. “That’s a pretty name.”

“You should come see her.”

At just the thought of holding a baby when mine had been taken from me, a terrible pain ripped me in two. Hunched over, I clutched my abdomen. No swell, no kicking little feet inside me, nothing.

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