Page 42 of Barbarian Brothers

“Oh, Binzen.”

“And look where that got me? Umok has my son. Our son. When Izzo returns tomorrow morning, I will have to tell him the truth. I can’t even face him. We have already lost Valen’s mother. Now, we are at Umok’s mercy.”

He must feel like a fool. I certainly feel like a colossal idiot at this point. For so long, I have been fighting our bond, constantly telling myself it would be okay, that I could go on living without them, and that my only good option was to leave Sunna and return to Earth. It didn’t matter how crazy and perilous it would be. It didn’t matter that I was leaving Binzen and Izzo behind—these marvelous giants with devilish tails and horns and the fiery hearts of true angels who somehow captured my heart from the moment they set their crimson eyes on me.

I was ready to do whatever it took in order to regain my freedom. Yet I can’t help but wonder, what did this freedom on Earth entail? The familiarity of my entire life—that I definitely miss. But I have found a different kind of happiness here on Sunna. The kind of happiness I doubt I would’ve been able to build on Earth. Back there, we’re slaves to financial and social systems; we’re burdened by our inventions, heartbroken by our unresolved issues. Out here, life is simple. Beautiful. Hot as balls but beautiful. There is room for me on this planet. Why is my brain so fucking jumbled all of a sudden?

Why am I unable to focus or even pick a path?

Do I stay, or do I keep fighting to go? Has Binzen not lost enough because of me? I shouldn’t let my sense of guilt make decisions for me, either. But who am I really lying to here? I love him. I love Izzo. I love them both with the fire of their suns, and I can no longer deceive myself on the matter. It’s not just the bond that ties me to this place. It’s true love, and I never imagined I’d find it on a strange, exotic planet, let alone in the arms of not one but two aliens. It’s so weird and downright insane, but it is my reality, isn’t it? It’s my truth. How much longer am I going to deny it?

“I’m to blame,” I say, holding back another round of tears. That’s odd. I didn’t think I had any left in me after today. “Binzen, I am the only one to blame here. Not you, not anyone else.”

He scoffs, a bitter smile testing his lips. “Are we going to compete over culpability, Amber?”

“No, it’s just the truth. I should’ve renounced my ambition to return to Earth,” I say. “I should’ve accepted that this is my new home. Instead, I was stubborn and selfish. In a way, I suppose I took advantage of your feelings for me, of our bond, to persuadeyou to let me go. And you were actually ready to do that. I’m to blame, Binzen. And when Izzo returns tomorrow, I will face him and hold myself accountable.”

“Right now, Izzo is the least of our worries,” he says. “I have to get our son back from Umok, and the only way to do that is to surrender you and your friends to him.”

“Jewel would rather slit her own throat,” I sigh deeply. But what other choice do we have?

“I didn’t say I was actually going to do it,” Binzen replies. “Umok will demand our Sunnaite females, too. He will take advantage of his leverage over Izzo and me. He knows we’ll do anything to get our son back. “He sighs loudly. “This is such a fucking mess.”

My mind rushes every which way. I need help, and Binzen is too distraught and loaded with so many emotions. He can’t think straight, not at this moment. I’m of no use, either. I only know that I cannot tell him I’m pregnant. Perhaps I should never tell him. It might affect his judgment further. It could put Valen at worse risk. I don’t know. I only know I must keep it to myself. It’s a heavy burden to carry on top of my guilt. And I cannot go forward into tomorrow without a plan, without some kind of course of action.

I cannot do it alone.

I leave Binzen to his thoughts. He can’t look at me anymore. It’s too much for him. Too much for me. But I cannot sit idly by. I’ve done enough of that. The girls and I are going to have a serious talk. It’s time for us to start accepting certain harsh truths and adjust accordingly. It’s time to recalibrate every single scenario we have considered since we crash-landed on Sunna. There are innocent lives at stake.

And the thought of losing my little boy… it’s unbearable.

Mylittle boy.

Valen is mine, as well. Binzen and Izzo said so. My heart says so.

19

Amber

Sleep is out of the question.

Not for lack of trying, but my bed is empty. Binzen is consulting with his men in the town center, gathered around a massive campfire. Maur and Kai have come over from their side of the river to offer support and assistance. At least we have the Hadana clan on board for whatever comes next. Their friendship runs deep, and their families have been tight since before the civil war erupted.

Accompanied by my two guards, I meet with Cynthia, Alicia, and Jewel down by the river. The fighters stay back as usual, but they’re within earshot this time. I’m done hiding, anyway. I’m done plotting my escape. Everything has changed, and so has my approach to the entire situation. Maybe when it’s all over—and provided we get Valen back without the four of us getting traded off like cattle—Binzen, Izzo, and I can have another conversation about returning to Earth. Until then, however, they need me.

The suns peek out from the bloody horizon, dawn rising with its orange watercolors along the steaming river. I listen to the wind blowing through the purple-leaved trees, to the songs of smallbirds chirping from their perches, and to the sound of water rushing over the red rocks. Somewhere in the distance, one of Sunna’s many active volcanoes rumbles ferociously, a plume of black smoke stretching to the east. At least the people know not to build their homes too close to these things. According to the Mal folks, the volcanoes spill their fiery guts once a year or so—which is better than the ones back home since those tend to blow up big time and destroy everything in their paths in the process.

“What do we do?” Alicia asks as we sit in the warm sand.

There’s a stretch along the river that resembles a narrow beach. We often use it for bathing, particularly in the evening when the temperature drops and we don’t need the daylight to guard our bare feet against the sharp pebbles otherwise lining the stream. I like this part of the plateau because it’s softer. Less rugged than the rest of the world we’re having to live in. Less harsh. More like home.

“We can’t try running away again,” I say firmly. “I think we’re done with that, at least for now.”

“We can’t sit here and wait for the Fire Tribe to hand us over to the Sky Tribe,” Jewel replies, her slim brow furrowed with concern.

Cynthia lets out a heavy breath. “It’s time for us to face the facts, girls. There’s a little boy’s life at stake here. Are we going to let Umok kill him because of us?”

“We’re not really to blame, though, are we?” Alicia asks.

---