Page 24 of Ocean of Silver

The forest was lush, green, and vibrant. It was hard not to compare it to Peter’s eyes and somehow thinking of him hurt worse than Sie. He was my friend, and the last time I saw him was when I was brought into that room by Kole. I tried not to think about him, about how I would have done anything for him if our situations were reversed…

The trees were different from the odd, bare ones by the castle. They were more dense and entirely covered in moss, leaving nothing of the brown bark on display. Light barely peeked through the top of the leaves. It created a thick canopy, blocking the sun like an air user’s shield could block the rain. But it did nothing to quench the heat. I felt sticky and wet and every inch of the clothes I donned became drenched. I understood why Tezya opted to not wear a shirt.

Neither of us spoke as I trekked behind him, following his bare back. I was starting to memorize the patterns of the scars that covered every inch of his skin. And when he became slick with sweat, I studied the markings that materialized overtop of them. It felt good to see another Advenian with the black Luxian markings after so long of being surrounded by the Tennebrisian golden designs.

I didn’t mind the silence either. The further in we hiked, the more the animals overpowered my hearing. We were slowly leaving behind the bustling city. I could no longer hear any voices or chatter coming from the town. All that greeted me was the wind gently howling against the leaves, the crickets singing, distant hooves stomping, and the occasional bird chirping. With each step we took further into the green fested forest, the more fear and worries I left behind with it. It was calming.

My shoulders were aching from the weight of carrying my pack, and I desperately needed a break to rest. Trivial things that used to seem like nothing to me were still taxing on my body. My legs were shaking, and I knew Tezya was walking slower than he normally would have because of me. I was thankful that the terrain was mostly flat, unlike Tennebris’ mountainous landscape.

I jumped when Tezya spoke for the first time, “We’re here.” He looked back at me as he pushed a tree branch out of the way. The view through the greenery was small, but I could just make out a small brown hut with a wrap-around porch that was larger than the building itself. Then I heard it. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore, lapping against the sand. It filled my ears, mixing with the dense sounds of the forest behind me.

I pushed past Tezya and ran, probably faster than I ever did on the track. I missed running outside—of being surrounded by nature. I ran toward the ocean, throwing my overnight pack onto the sand. I didn’t stop until I was knee deep in the rushing water.

I inhaled longingly and scanned the horizon. The sun was high in the sky and blistering against my skin. Tezya came up behind me, and with his pants halted at their normal spot halfway up his calves, the water didn’t soak through his clothes like it did mine. His eyes were wide as he took me in.

“What?” I asked, a little breathless.

“You’re actually in the water. I mean, I hoped that you would go in the ocean, but it was wishful thinking. I thought maybe the openness of the sea would be enough to get you to swim. I just didn’t know if it would work.”

I looked down at my feet. They were still visible through the clear aqua water below. I probably looked crazy to him. Running into the cresting water, the waves lashing up to my thighs when they crashed. I knew, without touching it, that my hair was a tangled mess from the humidity of the hike, but I didn’t care. I was happy for the first time in a long time. I wanted to soak up this moment and paint it into my memory so I would never forget it.

I wiggled my toes inside my shoes, wishing that I had stopped to take them off. I wanted to feel the sand beneath my feet.

“Why don’t you change? Then we’ll go in the water.”

“Change?” I asked, turning around to face him as a large wave crashed against my back. I was further out than him, the vastness of the water behind me.

“Your maid was told to pack swimming attire for you. Unless you wish to try out that whole nude-beach-swimming-naked thing. I’m fine with that too.”

“No,” I blurted before I realized he was only joking. His heavy laughter joined in with the sound of the waves. “I’ll go change,” I said shyly, turning away from him.

“There’s a room in the hut if you want privacy. I’ll wait for you outside.” He was still smiling.

“Don’t you need to change?”

His smile broadened. “I’ll change out here once you leave.”

Oh-OH.

I hurried past him, picking up my bag as I went. The image of him naked on the beach was fresh in my traitorous mind. The wrap-around porch only took one step to climb, then it stretched out into a flat deck before I came across two wide doors made of glass. I tried to open them, but they wouldn’t budge. I tried harder. There was no way I was this weak that I couldn’t open a door.

Then laughter sounded from the beach. “The doors don’t open like that. You would be doing that all day. Try sliding them instead of pulling.”

Huffing softly, I slid the one door on top of the other, only to realize that there was only one bed—one.

The hut was a deep brown color, even on the inside, the wood seeming to make up the walls, ceiling, and floor. Matching rows of cabinets lined the far wall above thetoo-smallbed that sat in the center of the room, demanding all my attention. Thankfully, I saw many bedrolls tucked into the cabinets. An emerald green sofa aligned the other side. The only thing that was large about the hut was the table and six chairs that sat opposite the couch. I pushed past the room, hoping and praying that the door led to another bedroom, but it didn’t. It was a small bathing room. I was thankful there was no bathtub until I realized that the only thing the room had was a hole carved into the wood. There wasn’t a lingering stench, and I wondered if it was the work from an air user, and I prayed to the Goddesses that I wouldn’t have to go to the bathroom while we were here.

I’d been through worse. The cage I was in had no bathroom, not even a bucket, but somehow this felt more degrading.

I quickly realized that there wasn’t any resemblance of electricity in the hut, but I also didn’t see torches or a fireplace either to light the space.

This was it. This was the entire hut. I could walk the length of it in fifteen, maybe twenty, steps. It was nothing like the luxury of the Luxian castle, but I liked it better—minus the no toilet thing. The hut was simple and to the point. It was charming.

I looked back through the glass doors. Green curtains to match the sofa could be drawn for privacy, but the door was the only window in the whole place. Above it, etched into the wood, were the words,For when you can’t pretend anymore.My breath halted. The words sank deep into my soul as tears filled my eyes. Did someone else feel the same way I did?

I stepped closer to the quote without meaning to and noticed, even smaller was,You are enough.It looked like it was carved into the wood from a knife, not nearly as eloquent as the larger quote, but I somehow loved it more. I smiled, needing to see those words, needing to know that I wasn’t the only Advenian struggling, that even if I felt alone right now, I wasn’t really.

Setting my pack down on the bed, I opened it up to see what swimming attire Patricia had packed for me. My eyes widened as I took in the black strappy undergarments. I searched the bag again. Then a third time just to be sure. She must have forgotten it. She seemed to forget everything, not even able to remember how to navigate through the Luxian castle. It shouldn’t have surprised me that she didn’t pack what I needed.

---