Page 50 of Ocean of Silver

He must have sensed the shift in me. “What’s wrong? Did I offend you?”

“No,” I said softly.

He assessed me, studying my reaction before he finally said, “Come, we should get back now. We’re an hour out from the castle, and we shouldn’t be in the woods when dusk fully settles in.”

NINETEEN

SCOTLIND

“I want to go,”I pleaded.

“Rumor, you can’t. If the King saw you there—”

“The King said that I couldn’t go anywhere without you, and lucky for me, you’ll be there.”

Tezya ran his fingers through his pale hair, pushing the long strands off his forehead, exposing the top of his thick, jagged scar. “No. It’s out of the question. I’m going to be busy at the Ball, and I won’t be able to watch you.”

I slumped onto my bed with a huff, folding my arms across my chest. “So I’m supposed to stay here alone? It’s Yule.”

He narrowed his eyes. “It’s only for this year. You don’t want to attract attention to yourself, especially around the King. Trust me, the less he thinks of you, the better.”

“I don’t care about the—” I started, but he cut me off.

“The answer is no, Rumor. You can hate me for it if you want, but you can’t go. And don’t even think about sneaking off because I will have my senses locked on you the whole night. I will know the second you open this door.”

He stormed out of my room before I could respond.

“Prick,” I called after him, knowing he could hear me. Patricia left to go home for the holidays, wherever her home was, so I would be utterly alone tonight. And I hated being alone—it left me thinking about Kole or Sie. Sighing, I hopped off my bed and sauntered over to the small table. Dinner was brought up thirty minutes ago and was already growing cold. I picked at some of the meats before frustration took over.

I wanted to go to the Ball. I was curious what it would be like at Lux. I wanted to know how their traditions for celebrating Yule varied from Tennebris. Luxians did everything more lavish and extravagant than Tennebrisians. If I got to see it, would it spark more memories from the seven years I spent here? Did my parents attend the Ball before everything happened?

In Tennebris, I’d spent every Yule with Vallie and Miles. Vallie always took me home with her, and we sat around the fireplace with her parents and had warm tea. Their house was close to the shield, that during cold enough winters, Vallie would convince me to build a snowman or have a snowball fight, but usually, I stayed inside with Miles reading a book. Yule was my favorite holiday because it was the only time I took off to enjoy living for once. I forced myself not to worry about the upcoming Trials or anything that had to do with me being Luxian. I forced myself to savor the moment. I read for enjoyment instead of studying fighting technique books. I didn’t wake up to train, but stayed up late gossiping with Vallie for hours, then slept way past morning only to stuff our faces with her mother’s dough balls until our stomachs hurt.

I imagined what it would have been like to be a Hartlin, and I often pretended I was a part of their family. I loved their simple traditions. They cooked together and went around the room saying what they were thankful for, and my answer was always the same—meeting Vallie. I wondered if they were celebrating without me this year.

My heart ached, and I tried not to think about her, which was another reason I wanted to go to the party instead of wallowing in self pity. I also desperately wanted to try the food. I overheard some of the maids gossiping in the halls about all the dishes they were preparing, and with all the training Tezya had put me through, and my new growing muscles, I was starving all the time. I was starting to put weight back on, and what Tezya put me through required me to eat… a lot.

But the real reason I wanted to go, though, the reason I was so upset that Tezya said no, was because I couldn’t stand to be in my room. I knew I should be grateful I traded it in for the cage, but when I was alone and restless like this, it felt too similar. My eyes played tricks on me as the walls in my room seemed to shrink into themselves. The only saving grace was the electricity, which I kept the chandelier turned on at all times to ward off the darkness.

If I wasn’t having nightmares about Kole finishing what he started—replaying what happened that night in the warehouse—Sie would work his way up to the forefront of my memories, which was so much worse. He would get stuck inside my head, and I would be forced to relive all of my interactions with him, attempting to sort through any warning signs, anything I might have misinterpreted, anything I could’ve noticed earlier to realize he wasn’t on my side.

I hated knowing that I would be forced to see him again andsoon. It gave me crippling anxiety whenever I thought about it. I couldn’t sort through my feelings. What would it be like to have to look into his dark eyes and see Reagan at his side, his new bride…

And if I somehow managed to not think about my ex-husband or about how Tezya said the Lux King planned to use me to get Sie off the Dark throne, I was stressing about what would become of me. When I was alone my mind became a dark place, and my thoughts overtook any rational senses. I had no idea how the Lux King would use me or what his plans were, and I prayed to Pylemo I wouldn’t have to find out.

One moment, I was alone, wallowing in my thoughts. The next, Kallon stood before me. She materialized out of thin air. A thick cloud of black and purple smoke lingered around her.

“Hey, babes,” she said in her musically crafted voice and beautiful smile. She looked absolutely stunning. The side of her head that was orange at the waterfall was now coral pink. I got the feeling that she changed it frequently. The black half of her hair always remained the same—sleek and shiny. Now both halves were twisted up into a beautiful curly updo, exposing the lines of her face and her long slender neck. Her slanted yellow eyes were rimmed in coal that matched her translucent gown.

“Kallon, how did you get in here?” I dropped the piece of chicken I was holding onto the floor.

She shrugged. “I portaled.” I gave her a look of confusion before she added, “I have portals in almost every room in the castle and various areas throughout the city. I don’t like the feeling of being confined in a room.”

I knew the feeling, but I thought better than to say that out loud. “What are you doing here, though? Aren’t you supposed to be at the Ball?”

“Of course, but I’m not going without you. I honestly have been dying for Tez to bring a girl around. Ineedgirl friends, and Dovelyn certainly does not count.”

I smiled widely, thankful that she even thought of me. She reminded me so much of Vallie, always kind and thoughtful. Even though Kallon was still a stranger to me, she didn’t treat me like one. She treated me like a friend, like I was someone she had known forever. Just as Vallie had the moment I met her. It was like the two of them would decide in their heads who their friends would be, and then that was that. You were friends, no questions asked. There was no going back. I missed Vallie. I desperately wanted to see her, to hug her, to know if she was okay, but I knew her life would be better off without me, safer without me. It was like Pylemo was blessing me with Kallon, knowing I had a void in my heart from missing my red-headed friend.

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