Page 97 of Lake of Sapphire

He let out a low sigh. “We should really go back now. You need to see a healer. I’m strong enough to teleport us now. The Alluse is almost all out of my system.”

“No,” I stopped him as he was about to get up. What he just said honestly sounded amazing. My entire body throbbed, agony coursing through me with each subtle movement. It felt like acid was pouring down my throat and slowly burning me from the inside out. I needed so many things that the castle would provide—a healer, sleep, food, water—water. I didn’t let myself think of water right now… of how it almost killed me, of how it saved me, of what I could do with the element.

“Please, just be honest and answer me, Sie.” I didn’t know if things would change when we got back to the castle. I didn’t know if he would don his mask again, and I needed answers. I could work through the unrelenting pain for a little bit longer.

He looked me up and down, slowly taking me in before saying, “If I fought back, I would have really lost. I couldn’t let Kole hurt you, not again. If those men did what they wanted to you… if they did what Fern’s vision showed…” He shuddered. “I can’t lose you.”

“Why? Back at the castle, you treated me like I was nothing. You avoided me in public. You’ve kissed girls in front of me, forcing me to watch. So I don’t understand. I don’t understand you. I didn’t think you were going to come.” My voice rose as I let out my frustrations. Tears were brimming in my eyes.

I tried to calm my breathing. I knew I couldn’t risk yelling. Whoever killed Kole’s men was still out there. But I was emotional and pushed past my breaking point and… I was confused.

“I know. I’m sorry for that,” he admitted as he sat back down next to me. “I had no choice. I had to be cruel and distant to you. I thought it was the only way.”

“You had no choice?” I snapped, then stifled a groan as my head ached from the sudden movement. I said more slowly, “What do you mean you had to? You just had to mess with me, confuse me, kiss me, and get inside my head? Only to then ignore me and watch as your friends completely humiliated me time after time? You just had to let random girls stick their tongues down your throat while I watched?”

He winced at my words. I knew I wasn’t being fair or rational. He’d just saved my life, and here I was chastising him, but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t know why him being with other people seemed to be at the forefront of my issues. Goddess knew I had more pressing matters. We almost died, and yet here I was acting as if I was jealous?

“I had to act like I didn’t like you,” he said softly. “If they knew how much you really meant to me, they would have done this much sooner or worse. You are my weakness, Scotlind, and now they know that. Alec was testing me that night to see if I cared about you. He was seeing how I would react. He was being a dick, doing all those things to you, because of me. He wanted to get under my skin. Don’t you understand that if anyone wants to get to me, the fastest and easiest way to do that is to go through you? I tried my best to keep my distance from you in public, to act like I didn’t care about you when people were watching. I tried to do everything I could to not let this happen. To not let last night happen.” He pointed between us, gesturing at our wounds and what we had just gone through. “Do you think I wanted to watch Alec humiliate you? Do you think I wanted to sit there and watch him have his way with you?”

“I can see how difficult that was foryou,” I sneered. I didn’t know why I wasn’t dropping it. Why Icouldn’tdrop it.

“Scottie, please,” he breathed as he placed his shaking fingers around the sides of my neck, moving closer. My eyes traveled to his throat as it bobbed when he swallowed. “Please. I don’t want anything to happen to you. I know what I did wasn’t fair or right by you, but I would do it again in a heartbeat if it would mean avoiding what happened last night. I would take Alec playing his games over being forced to watch Kole strap you to that table again.” He paused before adding, “You need to train.”

“I train every day with Peter, or I did before my thigh,” I said as I tried to push his hands off my face but failed.

“That’s not what I meant. You need to train with your abilities,” he said. His face shifted again to his expressionless stare that I couldn’t read. His smile faltered. The playful joking moments before were long gone.

“What do you mean?” I said slowly and cautiously as I held up my wrists, exposing the large zeroes that were forever burned into them, branded into me. “I have no abilities.”

“You and I both know that isn’t true. It will be a lot easier if you stop denying it. I saw everything.”

I pulled away from his grasp. His eyes lingered with this hunger for me to tell him the truth. Everything was a blurry daze. I recalled the men ripping my nightgown open, Kole pinning me against the wall and exposing my back. There was no denying it, even if my brain was hardwired by now to do so. But when my back was on display, Sie didn’t seem surprised. In fact, he held me against his chest, covering my back as if he already knew about my markings there. “How… How long have you known?” I stuttered as realization dawned on me. “Since when?”

“From the first time we kissed,” he said slowly, studying my face. “When you fell, you tore the back of your gown and landed in the water. I saw your back as you ran out of the bathing room.”

I crawled backward as his words hit me, not bothering to care that I was still naked, or that I pulled the entire blanket with me. That had happened my first night at the castle. How could I have been so careless? One kiss, and I’d messed up everything I worked so hard to hide my entire life. How many other Advenians saw me as I walked around the halls that night?

“I had a suspicion the moment I met you,” he continued. “I knew something was different about you. I just didn’t know you were from Lux until that night in the bathing room. You didn’t wear Alluse when we met at the banquet and your thoughts were rushing into mine. They were all jumbled and I couldn’t piece them together, but I knew you were hiding something. I was intrigued by you. I wanted to know why you trained so hard. I wanted to know what drove you. I wanted to know everything.”

“Before we were married.” I started as I processed his words. “You knew about me before we were even engaged?”

“Yes.”

“Why did you do it then?” I cried, not caring about the tears, not caring that I was now screaming. My pain seemed second to the shock raging in me.

“Do what?” he asked, taken aback by my sudden anger.

“Why did you marry me? If you knew I was Luxian, why did you make me go through with it? Don’t you know how dangerous this is for me? Forusnow that we’re married? They will kill me when they find out. They can kill you too for just being with me. It’s illegal for our kind to mix.”

“I won’t let that happen. I won’t let anyone hurt you,” he said slowly.

“It already happened!” I shouted as he winced, but I didn’t drop it. “Whoever Kole is working for already knows I’m from Lux. And that’s not what I asked. Answer my question, Sie. Why did you marry me? Why did you go through with it?”

He rustled and weaved his fingers through his hair. “Because I’m selfish. Peter told me not to, begged me not to marry you, but I wouldn’t listen. I couldn’t… I couldn’t stand the thought of not being with you. I couldn’t stand the thought of you with anyone else. You’re intoxicating and different, and I…” He stumbled on the right words. “You’re the first girl who hasn’t thrown herself at me. My entire life, ever since I was little, everyone used me and only wanted to date me or be friends with me because of my title, because they said I would be the future King long before the Tournament. You were the first person, the first female, who didn’t care about that stuff. You saw me as a person, not a title. It was refreshing and—”

I cut him off, unable to listen anymore. “So you married me, forcing me into this, putting my life at risk just because I didn’t throw myself at you? Just because I didn’t want to marry you?”

“No. That’s not what I meant. I just…” he started, then paused. A pained look came over him before he continued, “I love you.” He moved closer, inching forward on his knees until they were touching mine. “I truly, deeply love you, Scotlind. I don’t know why. I don’t know how to explain it, but I couldn’t let you go. And for that, I’m sorry.”

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